have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
