just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize