The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry