it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
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Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
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HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?