I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
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The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
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I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.