You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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