Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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