the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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