Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
