If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
