I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
