It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
These tits shall not be calmed
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
