So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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