youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize