Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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