i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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