after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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