I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
