we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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