Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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