It's Friday. Sex?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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