I feel great
I just peed on a car
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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