Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
