I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
