If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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