Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I believe in your delicious
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
