It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
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If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
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I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
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