at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
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I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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