I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
