Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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