i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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