Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.