i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.