I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
