This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
