I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
