I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
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I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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