having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
