Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
