Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything about him screamed your future.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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