I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
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i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
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I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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