Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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