two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
