New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
