It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
