We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
