You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
