Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
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