Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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