Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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