you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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