quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
