He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just blew my weed a kiss
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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