walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Send help, water and tortillas.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
