Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
