i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
