i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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