did you get engaged???
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
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it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
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This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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