Have you finally orgasmed yet?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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